Sunday, October 20, 2013

Operation: Let Go of World; Cardiac status: Still not void.

Need I say I have an eventful life? Only now it's in slow motion. Also, my Disengaging process is taking a little too long. I find myself STILL attached. To be accurately stated, the only thing(s) that mattered to me, in this whole wide world was/were Medicine. Okay, add family, and a few friends. I believed in myself.

My heart doesn't have a bigger than Bigger proportion of family in it now. And Medicine is out as well. Friends too are leaving one by one. Not physically but the amount of dependence and trust, yes, that's diminished. Surprisingly, I am not as sad as I should be. Stating the obvious, I feel like something very powerless and lonely but calm and protected. Is't depression, I ask myself. Answering that in all honesty, no, I don't think it's.


  1. You just don't feel connected?

  2. Rather I don't feel the need to connect. I am being compelled to...

    1. But then that's a test no? You are not supposed to live your life in seclusion, right?

    2. No, nobody is supposed to live his/her life in seclusion. You can't, it's impossible. But sometimes, it becomes necessary, to connect to yourself, that you keep yourself to yourself. Makes sense? Also, and more importantly, in order to avoid evil. I've developed this huge and acute disgust for world and its happenings. I have lost my faith in humanity. :P I am trying real hard only for the sake of Allah. Yes, I believe it's a side-test.